I have never really been a conventional “African Woman”. Unlike many girls in my time, I never dreamt of my prince charming nor did I enjoy playing house in my childhood. My siblings and cousins would tease me endlessly about my lack of domestic skills, but that never bothered me. My mother would practically have to force me to join the other women in the kitchen.

And then came my paternal grandmother. This beautiful woman whom I look up to everyday. She never once questioned my lack of interest in domestic duties, rather she would quip sarcastically “well, you’re too independent for your own good, I know you’ll find a way when the time comes”. Little did she know that she spoke that into existence.

Fast forward to the present and I now have a daughter that I must teach these domestic skills. I worried that I didn’t know how or where to begin and that I had failed her as a mother raising a proper African girl. Turns out, she didn’t need too much coaxing to begin. My daughter at 7 can load the dishwasher or wash the dishes by hand if need be. She can make a meal for us, fold laundry and run the vacuum. I never intentionally taught her these things, but I can tell she’s so much better than I was at her age.

The other day, I wanted to sleep in on Saturday because I had a long work day the previous day. I heard her tell her brother that mommy was sleeping because she was tired and  she would make both of them breakfast so I could rest. I heard her pour the cereal, warm the milk and pretty much feed her and her brother while I slept. When I asked her later how she felt about it, she proudly told me that she loved it, because it made her feel useful and happy to help around the house. The  domestic bug must have skipped me and trickled right down to her from my grandmother, whom she’s named after.

What about my Son?, well I’m not worried about him in the least. His Dad is part of the millennial breed of men that are thoroughly domesticated. He can whip up a meal and is tidier than I am, as much I hate to admit it, and I can see my Son steadily following in his footsteps.

I say let your children be children, but teach them responsibility at a young age, life doesn’t get easier the older they get. I don’t think there’s anything as a ‘woman’s role” or a “man’s role” anymore, the world is dispositioned to cater to each one of us in a unique way, and the best way to successfully navigate this is to stay prepared in all aspects.

Millennial mom says so.