I remember being in my 20’s and wishing my 30’s could wait a little longer, I didn’t want to be so “old” too soon. I needed some time to figure out some things in my life. To be more confident, make more money, be more fearless and have a little more fun. But then I woke up one morning and I was 30 with a baby on my lap.

I thought that by my 30^th birthday, I would miraculously wake up already armed with the things I mentioned above. Instead, I woke up the same insecure, often unsure woman with a bonus or burden (you choose) of a baby and a husband. I immediately hated my 30’s and quietly settled for a life of quiet desperation, because that’s how it was supposed to be.

It’s been a few years since then, and now, I can finally say that I am who I wanted to be in my 20’s. These are some of the things I no longer hold or allow to hold me as I fearlessly journey on to my 40’s;

1.      I no longer accept the definition of happiness from anyone else’s perspective. I have come to understand that happiness means different things to different people, and that’s okay.

2.      The expectation of how a 30 something mother of 2 should act or behave. I define what I want my life to look like, and the only person whose approval I seek is my own.

3.      The idea that things should happen at a certain time in  a certain order is a societal facade. Everyone has their own journey and timing of events. Some may start early but finish late, and some may start late and finish first. No one can alter the course of your life except God, who loves all of us as if there was only one of us.

4.      I no longer keep people around me that threaten my peace and growth just to have friends. Other than my immediate family, everyone is dispensable. I’m not afraid to lose people who aren’t afraid of loosing me. I’ve lost people that meant the world to me and I still survived.

5.      I will no longer put my life on hold because certain things are not in order. That’s like working like a horse in hopes of buying freedom in the future to do what you really want to do. There are no guarantees in life and all you have is the present.

6.      I no longer surround myself with negative news, discussions or gossip for fear of missing out. Anything that evokes fear in you disempowers you and weakens your spirit, you cannot function at your best with a tainted, weakened spirit. I choose positivity and I choose faith.

7.      I cannot control everything in my life, I have learned to go with the flow. I have stopped holding on to things and people that want to leave and embrace the things and people that have come into my life and stayed. And even then, when it’s their time to go, I have reached the peace of allowing that without a struggle.

8.      And finally, I can admit that for the first time in my adult life, I am happy. I am so wrapped up in joy and abundance and I radiate with positive energy. I have never loved like I do right now. God, self, my children, my family and life in general. I can finally say authentically, that it’s good to be me.

I would end this with a kiss and hug, but I know that most of you are still on that self-finding journey, and when you finally find you, come back and get this kiss and hug.

Love and Light