I had the privilege (because I know many women don’t have that choice) of staying home with my children for the first few years of their lives. I thought I wanted to be a stay-at-home mother and give up the professional life/path. I wanted to be the one to raise my children and possibly home school them.

Nothing had prepared me for the whirlwind of emotions I would feel after making that decision. My Son was conceived fairly soon after my daughter turned 8 months old. This wasn’t in our plans but obviously God’s. So I became busy preparing for my second child while still raising my first baby.

I am sure I’m supposed to say I loved it, but I didn’t. I felt something slightly less than resentment. Although I loved and love my children, the daily chores and tasks became rigorous. The everyday routines became predictable and my type A personality suffered. I wasn’t as good as I thought I would be (this is a story for another blog) and I carried the guilt of not enjoying the things I was “supposed” to enjoy.

I decided to go back to work, at first, part-time to see how if it would be enough to fulfill my missing piece. Unfortunately, financial needs had me diving head first to full-time work marathons. And guess what? I resented that too.

I missed my children a lot and I carried the guilt all through my work day. I knew things had to change. I couldn’t afford to stay-at-home anymore, but I couldn’t continue missing out on the kids lives like I was. To add gravy on the train that was breaking down, I re-enrolled back in school for my second masters and doctorate. Can we all say maniac?

The point is, I never stopped searching for what I felt was missing. It wasn’t up to anybody but me to know what that was, and I knew I couldn’t stop until I found it.

After a few years of ambivalence, guilt,mixed with determination and courage, I have found a happy medium. I am still at a self-paced school program and have found a well paying part-time position that has enabled me to spend most of my time with the kids. It has been a year and I can say it’s working out nicely.

But here are 3 things I learned during my search for work-life balance;

1. There is no one-size fits all when it comes to motherhood. Some excel at staying at home while some thrive as mothers when they’re professionally engaged, I rank in the latter.
2. No mother is exempt from the doubt and guilt of whether the decisions they’re making are right. We all question ourselves daily trying to raise healthy, happy, well-rounded kids. And if you often question yourself, you’re doing good mom, trust me.
3. No matter how indecisive, unexpected or fully prepared I was to be a mother, I would do it again in an instant. Motherhood has given me a new identity, life, perspective and boundless rewards I cannot begin to count.

So whatever balance you may be searching for in life is out there,don’t stop until you find it.