It has been exactly one year since I published anything on my blog. I’ve been writing and Journaling, but  I haven’t been compelled to post anything…to be honest, between the pandemic and school and mothering and work and life…all my efforts have been in keeping my head above water…maintaining my sanity…being as present as exhaustion allows….and finally, all the life changes I’ve been making (I’ll talk about it in coming blogs) , have paid off in the most precious currency….time…
Time with myself, time with my babies, time with my man, time with my family and lastly,  and I mean lastly..time with the rest of everything else 😊
Afromomma is a place of joy for me, a digital journal that I get to share with my few online family…so I didn’t want that joy uprooted by feeling like I had to do it on a deadline and with pressure.
When I was approached to monetize it through sponsors and some brands, I felt pressured, my type A personality (this isn’t  a compliment 🤣) wanted to do a lot…but I had to pause…I don’t believe that you have to monetize everything you’re good at. I believe that some things you should do just for the simple joy of doing them and writing is that for me.
When I decided to  take a break,  I questioned myself,  was I taking the easy way out?, Was my “imposter syndrome ” creeping up? was I even good enough?, was this self-sabotage?
I have devoted the past year getting to know myself, getting to know what I like and what makes me show up at my best.  I want my writing to be more intentional, to reflect what I’m feeling at that time. So here are some things that have helped me get closer to myself;
-Separate “feeling ” from facts..I took an actual inventory of how far I’ve come. The goals I had set and achieved and the positive aspects of my life.
-Examine my responses to “failure”…self blame and reproach had a lifetime lease on my life,  I had to realize that was my ego trying to heal from life’s bruises. Confront your egotistical thoughts (we should all be able to make mistakes and get through them and learn,  we’re human!). Someone (not me) defined the ego as “Edging God out”, truer words have never been uttered 🙏🏿. Don’t let the ego rule your life.
-Change the script…Ever heard of “this life is your script, you can change the narrative anytime you want?”..well I had to embrace that fully, intentionally defining who I am, whose I am and living my life to reflect that….
Bottom line, I’m not working towards any destination,..destination happiness isn’t attainable..I’m just trying to make this life journey worthwhile through purposeful living..
Which areas in your life do you feel like you’re overlooking?🤔..share🤗