Parents wish to raise successful children and most of us parents define success by our perspective of successful …. if money is how you define success, then you want to raise children who make lots of money..if it’s career prestige, then we steer them into becoming lawyers, we want doctors, we want engineers…and so on…


So my daughter declared that she had decided on a career path, she wanted to be a chef…what ensued from a “relative” was fierce objection “A chef? you mean cook for other people for a living? you don’t want to do that!”…”why not? I love cooking and if I can make it a career,  why can’t I?” …

Sensing the possibility of a life-altering discussion that was going on, I had to firmly intervene and let her know that she could be whatever her heart desired, and if cooking was it, then I’d be her cheerleader all the way. My only stipulation was that she did her best in anything she attempted or wanted to be…EFFORT. I won’t go into  the longer dialogue that went on between my relative and I (insert heated argument 😂) but that brings me to my point on conscious parenting. …Are we parenting in hopes our children fulfill our own unrealized dreams? or that they fulfill their dreams, even if their dreams look nothing like what we envision for them… Are our kids partners in this life long journey of growth and learning? or are they our turn to exert control and pressure, ..like how most of us were raised?. Is it rebellious to see them as tiny humans who, as they evolve, need our guidance but also space to let their lives unfold? Do we dare not raise them how we were raised? do we dare deviate from “how things should be” and instead open our minds to greater possibilities?

Now I’m not advocating for children to have free reign on self, because otherwise my 9 year old Son who has declared video games are his passion will quit school and devote his life to that…as his mother,.. I have to remind him that he needs math skills to calculate all the money he’ll make and reading skills to read the contracts and instructions for his gaming life…. so it’s a good idea to still go to school. On the other hand, when my daughter angrily storms off to her room, I see it as, not an opportunity for “discipline” or some sort of “punishment” but a chance to get to know she and I better. How does that reaction trigger my own ego? is she allowed to remove herself from a situation that she deems unpleasant? what can we both learn? …Like all parents,  I not only want to raise ” happy adults, but most importantly,  resilient ones….the rest of the success comes easy and is enjoyed once those 2 are mastered.

My kiddos, like any other kids, enjoy moments of tantrums when they don’t get their way,  but those episodes are met with discussion on the behavior and better ways of handling those situations..now this post makes me look like an atypical mother who never loses her cool 😂.au contraire my friend, my kids will sell me out in a minute if anyone attempts to *saint* me in that area…my main aim is effort,  effort from me, effort from them  and I’d like to say we’ve made good progress..Id like to say we have a very good relationship and I have really well behaved kids…but ..I’d also like you to check back in in  a few years when they’re teenagers and let you know how it’s going 😁…parents of grown kids and teenagers need not comment,  wait for us still raising younger kids….we  dey come.